yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
