this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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