she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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