yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
