My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
