I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
