Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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