Your tits are I can't wait for
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
