i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize