shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
