So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
