Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
