Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
