Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
