bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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