omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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