Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
