We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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