you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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