TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
