Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
