well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
