so that wasnt chicken after all
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
