Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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