i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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