ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
