he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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