plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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