i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
