I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize