Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
