I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
