He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
