my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
