He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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