its not stalking. its research.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
