dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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