you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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