i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
