Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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