Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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