lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Semen is not good for contacts.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
