Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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