whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
