Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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