If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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