his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
it glows. i had to have it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
