My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
