Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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