I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
