Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
