tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The power of my boobs compel you
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
