i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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