u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
