ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
