Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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