Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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