maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
