Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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