i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
